Britney's Boring "3"some

I love this video for no reason at all. It's repetitive and boring, and Brit's hardly moving at all, much less dancing. In fact, the clip is basically a collection of glamor shots in motion, which continues Britney's Circus-era trend of looking fabulous, but functioning minimally. Trust me, I made it to one of the shows on her hugely successful Circus tour, and she's just as disengaged in person as she is on film. There's no spark left in Britney, but she's a business MAN, thus the train must keep moving.

All that being said, she's looking amazing in this clip. I bet if they would've slipped her a couple shots of tequila beforehand she would've worked that pole like she had kids to feed (wait...). Remember the Gimmie More video?

Ryan Leslie's Stagnant "Transition"

Why is Ryan Leslie releasing another album so soon? His self-titled debut dropped in February of this year. Transition, his sophomore effort, will hit stores during the first week of November.

Generally speaking, Transition isn't a bad album; it's just that his debut was so good. Not good in the sense that Leslie is a particularly dynamic producer or singer, but good because he managed to handle the album's material so well in spite of all of that. What Leslie lacks in vocal ability and musical diversity he makes up for in sentiment. Ryan Leslie didn't always sound good, but it always felt good.

In that sense, Transition is more of the same. In fact, it's basically the same album. Entirely written, produced and composed by Leslie (Dream complex much?), there's nothing remotely original here. If Transition were his debut I probably wouldn't be as disappointed in Leslie, but as it stands, there's really no reason to hail this offering.

Love Is A Battlefield

Jordin Sparks' post-Idol career hasn't been as bright as Kelly's or Carrie's, nor as fledgling as Fantasia's, mostly because the season six winner's self-titled debut was saved by the success of second single "No Air." It's fitting then that Sparks' follow-up, Battlefield, would go light on the R&B in favor of airy pop ballads, and light-rock uptempos, making it a traditional pop album at a time when pop music is anything but.

The album's title track is everything it needs to be. Taunting as it opens, ("Don't need to explain yourself, I know what's happened here"), pleading near the middle, ("If we can't surrender then we're both gonna lose what we have"), and aggressive toward the end ("Guess you better go and get your Armour"); all of which is delivered over a slick drum beat that turns the Ryan Tedder produced song into a pop-rock declaration. It sets the tone for an album that doesn't follow suit.

Where the title track is confident and engaging, the majority of Battlefield is naive and pleading. Second single, "S.O.S. (Let the Music Play)" begs you to dance, as Sparks mimicks Rihanna's pop disco swagger to less effect. Play it safe ballads "Let it Rain" and "Was I the Only One?" beg for clarity, while the cliched "Faith" asks you to feel inspired by its melodramatic writing set against an acoustic backdrop: "Cause when the sky is darkest you can see the stars." Throughout each song Sparks sounds capable, but restrained. She's an R&B singer trying to fit her husky vocals into a pop canon. They fit, but just barely.

It's when Sparks' voice is allowed room to breathe that Battlefield takes flight. The album's sole R&B affair "Don't Let it Go to Your Head," along with "It Takes More" have the relaxed urgency of Sparks' "Tattoo," with far more confidence. Piano driven ballad "No Parade," soars with remorse, in both lyrics and delivery. "Just another day like any other, nothing in the sky said run for cover...never thought it would end this way," she laments with all the sincerity lacking in the album's other ballads. Jordin does dance a bit better with the guitar strum of "Walking on Snow." Think Janet's "Someone to Call My Lover, " where pop flirts with country and a bit of disco then heads to the dance floor.

While Sparks never recreates the charm of the album's title track, Battlefield still manages to eclipse her debut in quality, and certainly suggests that she has a ton of potential for growth and longevity. Battlefield is a bit of a risk for Sparks, and that's at least refreshing if not always rewarding.

Listen to No Parade below, and drop-off a comment.

Two Songs I'm Loving, One More I'm Not

The Good:

Bad Habits
Maxwell

The thing is, Maxwell is brilliant and "Bad Habits" is everything it needs to be. The perfect follow up to "Pretty Wings," the song opens with Maxwell's signature falsetto pouring over a mellow intro before it builds toward a horn driven ode to infatuation. As always the lyrics are inspired, and Maxwell's vocals throughout are flawless. Really, Maxwell gets better with time, and BLACKSummer'sNight is arguably his strongest collection of songs to date. Or maybe everything else in music sucks right now, and I'm just THIRSTY for some quality.

Banging On The Walls
Cassie

I fully realize that juxtaposing Cassie so close to Maxwell may bring my credibility into question, but I'm fine with that. One song doesn't reflect the other, and that's fine. I'm a fan of any artist that recognizes their lane, and stays there. Cassie can't sing, and "Banging On The Walls" acknowledges that. Autotune is this girl's friend, and it works really well on this song. "Walls" is easily a suitable dance song, and almost dips into exceptional at the 2:55 mark, which introduces a synth-heavy bridge that compliments the song's overall production perfectly. If "Banging On The Walls" were recorded by Britney, folks would be ON it. Alas, Cassie is a joke and unfortunately "Walls" will suffer in response.

The Bad:

Obsessed
Mariah Carey

I'm not late with this, I was just REALLY wanting this song to grow on me. It hasn't. Mariah Carey is a study in regression. If 2004's "Shake It Off" was urban Mariah at her reformed best, 2007's "Migrate" along with the rest of the tragic E=MC2 went beyond urban to hoodrat, and that's not cool. With "Obsessed," Mariah becomes too comfortable in that lane. This is a Keri Hilson song. No, this is post-"After the Storm" Monica. This is bad.

Too gimmicky: "I'm the press conference, you a conversation." Too 20-something: "I'm in the A. You so so lame, and nobody here even mentions your name." Too out of touch: "You on your job, you hatin hard."

When Mariah Carey is too smart for this, I can't help but to think that she's insulting me with this song. The woman who wrote "Always Be My Baby," and "Breakdown" now expects me to ghostride the whip to circa-2002 lyrical laziness? She's not dumb, so she must think I am.

The best part of this song: "And I was like, why are you so obsessed with me?" And THAT was lifted from Mean Girls.

Checkout all three songs below, and tell me what you guys think:

"Why R U" Sleeping on Amerie?

Cute headline, right?

I'm convinced that Amerie's "Why R U?" will be the most slept on single of the summer. Already I've heard more negative reviews than good surrounding the singer's first Def Jam single, and those opinions are perhaps as misguided as Amerie's decision to sign with Def Jam in the first place (If your name isn't Rihanna or Mariah, you aren't getting anywhere with Def Jam).

Amerie's voice isn't the strongest, but she'll sing any song like it hurts not to. Because of that effort her "Why R U?" delivery caters toward the track's relaxed 90's production perfectly. Think, Mary J. Blige crooning over "Reminisce" or SWV's slick approach to "I'm So Into You." Not that Amerie is as engaging as Mary, or matches SWV's new jack swagg, but she's singing "Why R U?." Not hiding behind production tricks or vocal gimmicks. Not T-Pain'ing her way toward a hit.

The track's oldschool production is contemporary enough to work as well today as it would have in '92, and that my friend is what we call a timeless record. That's right, I said it.

Don't think that "Why R U?" is groundbreaking, or particulary originial. In fact, it's quite comfortable. But a good song is a good song, and "Why R U?" works well in that capacity.

Checkout the stale ass video.

Amerie - Why R U (Official Video) HQ
Uploaded by wonderful-life1989. - See the latest featured music videos.

Oh, but nobody matches her fly.

Chrisette Michele's Career Should Benefit from Her "Epiphany"

To say that Chrisette Michele's debut was disappointing would be unfair. Her first single "If I Have My Way" was lovely, but just too adult-contemporary for her intended audience. But anyone who has heard the title track from Michele's Epiphany can tell you that the singer has developed a sound more suitable for her youth. Epiphany is fresh in every sense of the word, from production to delivery, and shows that Michele is ready to become an R&B star in her own right.

While "Epiphany" is easily the best track on the 12 song album, Michele remains satisfying throughout. The self-sacrificial "Blame it On Me" is as well-written as it is performed. Lyrics like "Sometimes it hurts to know the loving you had is slowly fading away" fall just short of melo-drama, so that listeners can find them relatable without feeling embarrased. More importantly, Michele's voice is flawless throughout the song. She has a range that sounds as elegant in its lower registers as it does in higher octaves, and delivers tons of emotion behind each note.

Check "Porcelain Doll" for a down-to-earth delivery, with plenty of attitude: "I'm a full-grown woman, I am not your porcelain doll." "Notebook" comes with every bit of the personal confession implied by the title, while "Our Song" is an airy, country inspired mid-tempo that could serve as the perfect summer break-up lament.

There's not a bad track on Epiphany, and even the Ne-Yo feature on "What You Do" doesn't sacrifice the album's sincerity.

After Epiphany, Chrisette Michele deserves a spot among R&B's hottest up-and-coming artists, right next to Jazmine Sullivan and Jennifer Hudson (who, incidently, weren't able to deliver albums nearly as satisfying). I haven't heard a better album in 2009.

Check out "Blame it On Me" and "Porcelain Doll."

Ciara's Finally Debuts Her "Fantasy Ride"

Ciara hasn't had the easiest run preceding the release of her third studio album, Fantasy Ride. But after a succession of under-performing singles, her duet with Justin Timberlake, "Love, Sex & Magic" has managed to build a bit of anticipation for the album's May 5th release, and the final product proves that Fantasy Ride was worth the wait.

Back in 2004, when Ciara was trendy instead of trendsetting, it was difficult to decipher the artist behind the radio-ready wrapping. In 2006, she took a bit of a risk with "Promise," the slowed down lead single from her second album Evolution. Still, despite the album's title, Evolution offered very little progression from her debut. Three years later, Ciara finally delivers an album worthy of her potential.

At its best, Fantasy Ride sees Ciara seamlessly merging the hip-hop appeal that has kept her a club staple for years, with the R&B swagger that finally gives her crediability beyond the dancefloor. Songs like the Dream produced "Like a Surgeon" translate just as well from the club to the bedroom, all the while demonstrating that Ciara has perfected a sustainable brand of sexiness that eluded her earlier efforts. "Ciara to the Stage" serves as further testament to the singer's newfound sexual agency, while "Echo" picks up the pace without sacrificing the maturity. Still, Ciara is familiar with her audience, and album standout "G is For Girl" caters to the urban fanbase that made her a star.

However, the album isn't without its setbacks. While Ciara has made serious vocal strides since her debut, a number of Fantasy Ride's tracks still suffer from her occasionally strained vocals. In fact, songs like "High Price" and "Lover's Thing" only fail as a result of Ciara's delivery. "Lover's Thing" in particular would be a solid ballad if not for her near-embarrassing pitch. On the otherhand, "I Don't Remember" suffers not because of Ciara, but due to Ne-Yo's uninspired production. The song hardly fits the rest of the album's pacing, and thankfully serves as the last track - that way you can stop at the infinitely more satisfying "Tell Me What Your Name Is," and pretend that "I Don't Remember" never happened.

With Fantasy Ride Ciara demonstrates that her five-year career is a work of progression instead of predictability, and that should be enough to keep listeners interested for at least five more.

Check out "Like a Surgeon" and "G is For Girl"...on another blog, cause I'm tired of having my posts taken down.

Kelly Clarkson Returns to Form with "All I Ever Wanted"

I own each of Kelly Clarkson's four albums, and that's not a problem for me to admit since she's easily one of the best pop artists to emerge this decade. That's an especially impressive accomplishment given the circumstances of her initial mainstream exposure. In the seven years following her American Idol win, Kelly has managed to sculpt an image for herself that overshadows the fact that she more or less micro-managed her way toward a record deal, and that speaks volumes about her immense talent.

Still, even with my love for Clarkson, I didn't love 2007's My December. That's a bit hard for me to admit, since popular opinion reflects the same attitude toward her brooding third album; and I'd much prefer to be in the minority. But My December was almost too self-pitying. Clarkson has a history of approaching love and loss with a mostly sardonic attitude that makes songs like "Behind These Hazel Eyes" and "Since U Been Gone" as empowering as they are mournful, and more explicitly sad songs like "Because of You" that much more appealing because of their vulnerability. On My December, Kelly traded in the wit for an outright bitterness that grows increasingly less interesting from track to track.

On her latest effort, All I Ever Wanted, Kelly manages to blend the charming approachability of her earlier work, with the lyrical substance of My December, to create an album that has just as much depth as it does commercial potential.

First single, "My Life Would Suck Without You," isn't about marketing the rest of the album, it's about convincing her fans to give her a second chance, and it works perfectly in that regard. The phenomenal success of Kelly's Breakaway was a reflection of its ability to remain relatable across a broad age-range--from middle school through college, everyone was quoting some Clarkson lyric on their away message, and "My Life Would Suck" functions in the same way. "I really shouldn't miss you, but I can't let you go" is so shamelessly Facebook status ready that it's no wonder the song shot straight to number one in the first week of its release. In that regard, it's certainly a return to form for Clarkson, but ironically one of the few low points on All I Ever Wanted.

The Katy Perry penned "I Do Not Hook Up" is a much better reflection of the rest of the album, as the song is as refreshing as it is familiar. And while the title is more or less self-explanatory, Clarkson carries it from being just a simple declaration of sexual self-agency, to becoming an anthem for those demanding some sort of substance before heading to the bedroom. But it's songs like "Impossible" and "Already Gone" that prove that Clarkson and One Republic's Ryan Tedder have a chemistry that may even surpass the brilliance of her work with Evanesence's Ben Moody ("Hazel Eyes" and "Because of You"). Both songs manage to be radio-friendly and intensely personal at the same time, which is a hard balance to find, especially in today's superficial pop consciousness. Finally, if you weren't sure that Clarkson could hold her own against that other popular idol--Carrie Underwood--check the ballad "Cry," which not only moves into Underwood's country-pop lane, but totally upstages her in the process.

Outside of "My Life Would Suck," other throw-away material includes the overly-sentimental "If No One Will Listen" ("maybe no one told you there was strength in your tears" LAME) and "Whyyawannabringmedown," which is such an Avril song that not even Clarkson can save it from drowning in embarrassing teenage angst.

But, what is most important is that through it all Clarkson's voice remains as flawless as ever, so that even the most tedious of material is worth listening to, if for her unexpectedly soulful approach alone. Kells can sing...no, really.

Here's "I Do Not Hook Up," which is basically ringtone material in my life.




Oh, and via Google it's really hard to find a decent picture of Clarkson...her publicist should probably work on that.

In Case You Forgot How Sexy Janet Jackson Is...

Janet Jackson is back in the studio, and with her signature producers no less.

That's pretty much it for that update, but since I look for any reason to make a Janet post I thought I'd take this time to give you guys my favorites of Janet's bedroom ballads.

I'm pretty confident that Janet is the sexiest female artist of our time, and in case you need a reminder...

Janet Jackson's 10 Sexiest Songs

10. Tonight's The Night (The Velvet Rope, 1997)

Even at 31, Janet manages to convincingly coo about virginity...and keeping the lyrics of the Rod Stewart original in tact gives the song a bisexual lien that was pretty ballsy in the 90s. If nothing else, Janet makes lines like "Spread your wings and let me come inside," seem infinitely more appealing than Stewart, so that forcing yourself upon an unsuspecting date never seemed nearly as enticing.


9. Someday is Tonight (Rhythm Nation, 1989)

"You know I promised I'd be worth the wait; now the wait is over" Yeah, this song came nearly three years after "Let's Wait Awhile," and realistically, just the thought of getting some is probably enough to validate its place on the list. Still, if you're looking for more, listen to the song, because Janet's shy yet certain delivery made her sexy long before she traded in military garb for nipple rings.

8. Funny How Time Flies (When You're Having Fun) (Control, 1986)

It's sort of funny that a song so sexually suggestive would sit so nicely aside Janet's infamously chaste "Let's Wait Awhile," from her breakthrough album Control. Still, it works because Janet manages to say everything she needs to say, without really saying anything at all. In effect, the song is more or less a quiet-storm loop of its title, but Janet's breathy vocals and strategically placed moans make "having fun" and "getting laid" seem interchangeable. And, while spoken word intros and interjections are generally regarded as cheesy, especially in ballads, Janet whispering in French is the vocal equivalent of KY His & Her's.

7. I Get Lonely (The Velvet Rope, 1997)

Yes, this is a breakup track, but if Janet's vulnerable delivery isn't enough to bring you home, the shameless Jodeci-esque shirt ripping near the end of the video will certainly lead to a change of heart. "Lonely" resonates with the effectiveness of Janet's pleading, so that you know her wayward lover is on his way back for at least on more night of making up. Oh, and this is hands down my favorite Janet tune, ever.

6. Together Again (Deeper Remix) (The Velvet Rope, 1997)

So basically, if you can turn a song about lost loved ones into a baby-maker, without changing a single lyric, you're doing big things. "Go deeper inside me" takes on a whole new meaning in the slowed down remix of Janet's '97 hit, without ever compromising the sincerity of the original, and that's almost amazing.

5. Anytime, Anyplace (janet., 1993)

Yeah..if this song isn't a draw dropper, I don't what is. If it wasn't cool to be a hoe before '93, Janet justified casual sex for an entire generation. Plus, I think the original video came with a condom advisory, which just proves that even at her freakiest, Janet stays in Control.

4. Twenty-Foreplay (Design of a Decade, 1996)

This is arguably the classiest of Janet's freakier bedroom excursions, but it's my favorite. Janet starts off innocently enough, "sleep my love, don't you worry, you just sleep," before seamlessly trading in romance for straight smut. "You've made love to my mind, now you gotta take me from behind." Still, you may have to run the track back, because Janet delivers even the most explicit of lyrics with a casualness that leaves you wondering if she's really just said what you think you've heard.

3. Would You Mind? (All For You, 2001)

Taken from 2001's All For You, "Would You Mind" is probably the most explicit song Janet's ever recorded. While lyrics like, "I wanna kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you" may initially come off as slutty, at the end of the day Janet is more or less expressing the latent bedroom fantasies of more than just a few people; and on some level, her courage to do so is respectable enough. Still, if that's all bullshit and Janet is just being a straight freak, that's cool too...cause I'm pretty sure that's what she was going for anyway, and it works for me.

2.Take Care (20 Y.O., 2006)

This song is about masturbation, which may or not be a mood setter, but I chose it because I don't know a sexier song about getting yourself off. "At home, I'm so alone, I'm wishing you were here....I"ll lay here and take care of it til' you come home to me." Janet's definitely making due with her resources, and I ain't mad. Plus, at 40 upon recording this song, Janet demonstrates that sexuality does not expire past one's 30s.

1. That's The Way Love Goes (janet., 1993)

Because "like a moth to a flame, burned by the fire" is a terrible line, but Janet makes it read like poetry. "The Way Love Goes" didn't surface until seven years into Janet's post-Control career, and realistically, no one had any reason to think she was sexy enough to pull it off. Where Janet used to hint at getting it in, she now openly admitted to wanting it without hesitation; "Go deeper baby, deeper...you feel so good I wanna cry." At 25, it made sense for her to give up the coyness of her earlier years. But, who knew she'd pull it off quite so well?

If you're not up on things, here's a link to a pretty well-handled mix of Janet's nastier moments.

And here's the video for I Get Lonely...because 12 years later, it still holds up quite well.

Tonite...A DJ Saved My Life

Most Mariah fans will tell you that her 2001 effort, Glitter, was taken for granted in the midst of the film's poor publicity, and commercial failure. That's bullshit; Glitter sucked.

The album had four (four!) singles, and not a single one managed to catch anyone's attention...I seriously can't remember a single one, outside of the awful "Loverboy." Disregarding the wackness that is the song in general, the video is even more of a mess...as no 30-something woman should be prancing around a racetrack like a meth-influenced teenager...wearing a bandanna bra no less. "I want a sugar daddy...take me for a ride!" Gross.

But I don't mean to go hard on Mariah, as the fact that she was paid out of her Virgin contract after just one album is insult enough (really..consider the lack of faith that you have to have in an artist to decide that you'd rather spend money on dropping them, rather than take the chance of wasting money on keeping them). Instead, this post is in praise of MiMi's cover of the the 80's classic "Last Night A DJ Saved My Life."

Of Glitter's four singles, this was the last, and it's almost a shame that it wasn't given more attention. Mariah has been blending hip-hop with pop since the mid 90's, and I'll give her credit for taking a risk that most pop artists didn't take until well into the 2000's. That being said, Mariah eventually lost focus..and the authenticity of tracks like "Honey," "Breakdown" and the "Fantasy" remix were eventually compromised for shallow radio-eager fodder like "Heartbreaker" and "Crybaby." But where those tracks desperately sought to please TRL audiences, "Last Night A DJ Saved My Life" was dance floor brilliance.

It's difficult to swallow a dance song from Mariah, considering she has the rhythm and stage presence of a hesitant stripper, but for some reason "DJ" works. It's one of the rare occasions where she manages to channel a little bit of funk, without sounding like a straight hood rat ("Speedial connected me to Ray Ray, click..it's Chante and Mae Mae!"). Instead "DJ" is the sort of dance track Janet would kill for, but couldn't handle nearly as well (that voice has hardly seen any little bit of challenge since Velvet Rope).

"DJ" isn't' about vocal delivery, as Mariah does a wonderful job of restraining her remarkable range in favor of a mellow, causal delivery, that suits the the material perfectly. Instead, the song smartly forgoes vocal acrobatics in favor of 80's superficiality.... barely audible, yet alluring delivery, with production catering exclusively to the cocaine haze of the era. But the song falls just short of becoming too old-school, thanks to a welcomed Fabolous feature. In the end, when Mariah sings "Last night a DJ saved my life from a broken heart," you can't help but to relate, given the feel good vibe radiating from the record.

Fuck "Migrate," "DJ" is Mariah at her club-ready best.

Here's the video for "Last Night A DJ Saved My Life," followed by the embarrassment that is "Loverboy"...cause I'm a Janet Stan..and can't give MiMi too much positive attention.





Mariah got a little bit of booty though...

Musiq's "OnMyRadio" is Good?

Usually, I would ignore Musiq. When I first heard his debut single "Just Friends" from the Nutty Professor soundtrack, I was somewhat interested in him, but quickly grew bored after I noticed that all of his songs sounded exactly the same. Since then, the only other song of his that held any of my attention was "Love," and that came out when I was in, like, middle school. Fast forward awhile, and OnMyRadio is on its way toward becoming one of my favorite albums of the past few years.

What I disliked the most about Musiq in the past was his indifference to actually singing. For the better part of his career, or at least the stuff I've listened to, he's taken more of a spoken word approach toward his material, where he sort of sings during the hook and adlibs, but is lazy during the verses. That annoyed me almost as much as that thing Mariah Carey sometimes does with her voice (you know, kinda raspy and wavering,then soaring, and then back to strained a la "Through The Rain"...), so I more or less left him alone. Who knew the kid could sing?..and consistently no less.

What..everyone knew that? Oh..well who knew he could sing decent material.

In fact, OnMyRadio is full of better than decent material. That includes the embarrassingly commercial first single, "Radio," which isn't nearly as lyrically engaging as the rest of the album's material, but still serves its purpose as a mindless change of pace for the otherwise predictable artist. And while most listeners will cite Musiq's duet with Mary J. Blige, "IfULeave," as the album's standout track, I much prefer the mockingly remorseful "DearJohn." The song's title is simultaneously self-explanatory and surprising, as Musiq delivers the most heartfelt of casual breakups possible; and just when you're ready to call him out on his cowardice, he beats you to the punch, pretty much conceding that he's an asshole before you even suggest it. Another potential single, "BackAgain," accomplishes what "Radio" doesn't, in terms of balancing mainstream appeal with substantive material, and is probably the most refreshing song Musiq has recorded since his debut.

There isn't a bad song on OnMyRadio, which means that I'm either being too lenient in response to my surprise at being even a little bit impressed with the album, or it's just that good. I honestly couldn't tell you which it is, but I'm leaning toward the latter.

In other news, I miss Maxwell.

Ciara Gives Fantasy Ride another Try with “Never Ever”

This week R&B singer Ciara will drop the third release in a series of failed first singles to promote her much delayed album, Fantasy Ride.

Yes, you read that right; this is Ciara's third shot at a first single in the past year. I can remember a time, pre-2006ish, when a first single was a first single, and whether it sank or swam an artist's release date held firm, facing them with the challenge of coming harder with the second single to keep the album afloat. Today, artists release two simultaneous singles off-rip, and probably a third and fourth when the album actually drops. That's assuming the first two singles perform well; if not, record labels will hold an album until they've finally found a radio hit, or scrap it altogether (ask Mya). In this scenario you've heard half an album before you've ever had the chance to buy it, and the second half within two weeks of its release.

Perhaps that's the industry's way of coping with a serially-downloading, YouTube addicted culture that doesn't have to wait for much of anything anymore; but for the most part I think it's just an attempt to saturate the market with so much subpar material that listeners lose concept of what constitutes good music and make due with the best of the worst. Enter Ciara's wack ass Never Ever

When Ciara first surfaced with 2004's Goodies, she was instantly overrated. Besides her obviously weak vocals, not even her dancing could compensate for her lack of showmanship and originality. Plus, her weave was smoked…which, considering the technologically advanced faux-hair options we've had since the turn of the century, was inexcusable. But Ciara came much stronger in 2006 with the release of her sophomore album the Evolution. Everything from her material to her image was noticeably more polished and confident, and with each successive hit single it seemed as though Ciara was well on her way to establishing some seniority in the music industry.

However, in 2008 her place in music history isn't as secure.

The first two singles from Ciara's Fantasy Ride, Ludacris assisted High Price, and Go Girl, which featured T-Pain, were far from terrible. While the use of Ciara's higher register in High Price was a bit unsettling at first, after a few listens the pitch matches the song's mood nicely, and in the end the record was at least fun, if not lead single material. Second first single (yep, I'm gonna keep doing that) Go Girl was far better, even with the T-Pain feature. What the song itself lacked in originality, the accompanying video more than made up for in style and visual appeal. Still, both songs performed poorly on radio, and were pushed to the left in favor of more studio time.

If High Price and Go Girl couldn't do it for Ciara, I'll be sorely disappointed if Never Ever is the single that catches on. The Polow produced mid-tempo song is so Prom '94 that not even Jeezy's presence can bring it into 2009; we're talking fingerwaves and cross-color jeans. There's nothing wrong with a bit of nostalgia (Keyshia's Let It Go), but Never Ever doesn't know that it's outdated, and that's a problem. Vocally, the song is a regression for Ciara, who sounds just as bored and uninterested singing the song as you will listening to it. And really, I can't blame her. Singing lyrics like "Throw your hands up in the air if you know he love you" would kill my spirit too. Then again, she co-wrote the song, so maybe I'm cutting her too much slack.

Ciara's career is far from permanently damaged, and I'd really like to see her get it together before it's too late. She's grown on me quite a bit since Goodies, and really, I can't think of another female artist in her age-range that satisfies her place on radio, stage, and video. That's enough to keep me interested in her.

Below you'll find Ciara's video for Go Girl

Whitney Leaves The Hills for The City

I've mentioned this before, but I'll say it again for good measure: I don't enjoy The Hills. I was never too interested in Laguna Beach, and when I did watch it I rarely paid any attention to Lauren, it was all about Kristin in those days. So, naturally when Lauren headed to L.A., I turned to VH-1. Still, I'm fairly familiar with a majority of the show's storylines, based on pure entertainment news coverage alone. In five seasons, I've probably seen just two episodes, but could tell you more about Spencer and Heidi than I could some members of my own family. My consciousness has basically been violated by The Hills, and I suppose that my instant interest in The City is my inevitable act of submission.

City star Whitney Port is probably the one character person from The Hills who has kept a low enough profile to remain relatively unnoticed by those not too familiar with the show; so unnoticed that when I first heard of The City I had to promptly tune into The Hills to familiarize myself with her. Luckily enough, I found Whit just in time to see her interview with fashion mogul Diane Von Furstenburg and then announce her departure from one primetime slot, for another. This week I reluctantly showed up for Whitney's east coast arrival and, to my surprise, I might just hang around for the rest of the season.

On paper life in the city is more or less the same as it was in the hills, with one noticeable difference: Whitney is considerably more interesting than Lauren. Actually, they're both sort of boring, but at least Whitney has the whole wide-eyed and innocent angle going for her. Lauren is nice enough, but that's about it; not especially witty or engaging, just mild-mannered, pretty and inexplicably famous, where Whitney is less the celebrity, and by trade, more personable. This makes the working-girl approach of both shows much more effective on The City because the lead is infinitely more convincing in the role.

Outside of Whitney's charm, The City has, well, the city going for it. Everything is more interesting in New York, even stale conversations about pre-mature relationships (seriously, where the hell did Whit's randomly Australian love interest come from, and why does he look like Adrian Grenier from HBO's Entourage?). New York gives the show a refreshing urgency that hasn't ever been present in the excessively indulgent pace of The Hills. The show is still about absolutely nothing, but NY has enough substance to compensate for that, at least for awhile.

However, like its companion show The City is far from perfect. I will never understand how these girls manage to live in major metropolitan cities, and still fail to encounter a single person of color…like, ever. If anyone were to question if lack of diversity on television was still a relevant issue in 2009, they'd have to look no further than shows like The City, which claim to depict reality, but do so on such a limited scale that it becomes painfully obvious that popular media still has a long way to go in terms of reflecting the actual reality of America. Elsewhere, a decent chunk of the show's premise seems to rely on a whole uptown/downtown, hipsters vs. socialites beef that is so Gossip Girl I could vomit, and Whitney's co-worker/obvious-future-frenemy Olivia is so randomly vacant that she and Audrina have to be at least distantly related.

But, whatever…The City is perfectly suited for its Monday night timeslot, when I don't have shit else to do but homework for Tuesday.

Nope, This Can't Be Good

Ne-Yo is probably one of the best R&B song writers to come around since Babyface. The man is a genius. His biggest talent is his ability to retain a signature sound from song to song, while still catering toward the individual artist's talent, so that songs like Irreplaceable are as big a hit for him as they are for artists like Beyonce. That's a hustle that'll keep him paid long after people realize that his own albums aren't nearly as interesting (which again make him comparable to Babyface).

That being said, I hate that he feels the need to cover his own songs, even going as far as to release an answer to both Irreplaceable and Take A Bow. To me that's the apex of arrogance, and really just boring. I don't wanna hear "to the right, to the right." What does that even mean? Are you moving your shit back in the house, or just scooting it to a different corner?

Janet Jackson's Can't B Good from this year's Discipline was written and produced by Ne-Yo. It's the best ballad Janet has recorded in years. It's perfectly suited for her barely-there vocals, and perhaps purposely reminiscent of her brother's Human Nature. There's a resistant optimism in Janet's voice that matches the song's subject matter perfectly, and the pace of the production is right on point.

In the biggest non-surprise of the year, Ne-Yo leaked his version of the same song, and it just doesn't work at all. Ne-Yo's voice is not suited for this song, and maybe that's just because I heard Janet sing it first. That's not to say that Ne-Yo can't sing, in fact it's probably more to say that Janet can't (at least she doesn't really try to anymore). Where Janet seems vulnerable or hesitant, Ne-Yo is straightforward and even a bit uncomfortable. You need an airy vocal to suit Can't B Good, and Janet has that department on lock.

But, as is clear by now, I'm a Janet groupie ( a respectable groupie, as I recognize that she doesn't always get everything quite right) so maybe it's just me.

Here are both versions for you to decide.

Janet "Can't B Good"

Ne-Yo "This Can't Be Good"

Always listen, never download...

Will Smith’s Seven Pounds Sucks

While on Oprah to promote Seven Pounds, Will Smith said that he's decided to make sure that everything he does in his life since turning 40 is done with purpose. Clearly he signed on for Seven Pounds while he was still 39.

Will Smith has become so pretentious in his success. There's no way he read the script for Seven Pounds and thought that the film was at all necessary to complete. Despite it's more than two-hour runtime, the film manages to accomplish absolutely nothing of relevance. Sure, the sentiment is nice, but the logic is non-existent, and in the end Seven Pounds only seeks to further satisfy Smith's desperate Oscar ambitions.

Don't get me wrong, Smith is an exceptional actor. He's shown an almost remarkable amount of growth since his Fresh Prince days, and has become one of the most dependable leading men of contemporary cinema. But sadly for Smith, dependable has become nearly synonymous with predictable, as the actor increasingly relies on the same roles in the same films to sustain his level of box office success. Seven Pounds is The Pursuit of Happyness. The logistics may differ, but the aim is still the same, and so is Smith's onscreen presence.

Seven Pounds isn't a bad film, it's just not the film as advertised. It's not even the film that it thinks it is. While trailers and interviews will have you believe that Seven Pounds is a life-changing (or affirming) tour de force, in reality it's just a predictable waste of time. Perhaps it would be easier to take the film as is, disregarding all of the hype and pretense, if it didn't take itself as seriously as it does. The plot creeps along tediously as if it's satisfying you with every second, offering brief bits of foreshadowing via flashbacks (a la I Am Legend), before abruptly climaxing all over the place, and inevitably only getting itself off. In that regard, it's like paying to watch someone masturbate…for hours.

As for anyone looking to see Will Smith "change his life in 7 seconds," trust me, it's hardly worth wasting your own for two hours. If you're paying attention from the beginning, the film's twist ending is obvious within the first 30 minutes, and even if you haven't figured it out by the time it happens, you'll retroactively realize you were giving the film too much credit, and the ending is as predictable as you told yourself it couldn't be.

Rosario Dawson turns in a very strong performance, and further demonstrates why she's one of the most underrated actresses of the moment. She's too good for this film. Hell, even the dog that accompanies her ailing character is too good for this mess. Dawson's career has barely recovered from the last time she co-starred with Smith in Men in Black II, and I'm not sure she'll survive round two.

I knew I should have saved $7.50 for Benjamin Button.

A Different Me Impressive Addition to Keyshia Cole’s Collection

I was really prepared to dislike Keyshia Cole's A Different Me. The album's first single, Playa Cardz Right is awful, and after hearing her cover of Mary J. Blige's I Love You (which incidentally doesn't make the album) I just knew that Cole's third album would be a misguided mess. I was wrong.

A Different Me is an apt title for Cole's latest effort, as it certainly approaches the singer's talent from a different perspective. While the subject matter is more or less the same as what was heard on Cole's previous two albums, the production is much more diverse. Cole opens the disc by saying "I'd like to introduce a sexier side of me," and that's an appropriate description of the rest of the proceedings. The aggressive R&B production of The Way it Is and Just Like You is traded in for a sound that is unmistakably more pop influenced; think more Heaven Sent, and less I Should've Cheated. That transition works nicely throughout a majority of the mostly mid-tempo album, but leaves Cole sounding noticeably out of her element during the ballads.

At its best the album is an inviting collection of shimmering production and satisfying hooks, as evident during the two-step of Erotica. At its worse it's an unconvincing attempt at emoting emotional and physical vulnerability, like the vocally awkward Brand New. Fortunately the album is heavy on the former, and light on the latter.

The Runners produced Please Don't Stop is as fast as the tempo gets on A Different Me, which instantly makes the track standout as one of the album's most appealing. Cole rides the disco-lite dance floor production perfectly, even delivering a Donna Summer-eque breakdown that's skating-rink ready. You Complete Me is another album standout, reminiscent of Justin Timberlake's Until the End of Time in its drum-backed arrangements and soaring vocals. However, it's Cole's duet with fellow R&B star Monica that introduces an interesting tension to the album. One on hand, Trust is easily the best song of the collection. On the other hand, Monica owns Keyshia on her own shit. Trust is Monica's song without question, from vocals to overall presence; and though Keyshia rides quite nicely next to her, the song inevitably leaves you wanting more from the So Gone singer.

Keyshia's new sound doesn't function quite as well during other parts of the album. Make Me Over isn't the sort of song that Cole should ever record. It's not that the jazzy production and frivolous lyrics are bad, but they're certainly not appropriate for Keyshia. Lyrics like "Doll me up, make me look pretty," just don't complement her image, or cater to what makes her appealing to audiences. And while Cole's Sex and the City meets New Jack City vibe is well-balanced on other tracks, Make Me Over would be better suited for an artist like Jennifer Hudson.

All in all, A Different Me isn't quite the evolution that Cole's career is in sore need of, but the album is a solid addition to her catalogue. Still, Keyshia needs a timeless record, like My
Life or Janet, if she ever hopes to reach superstar status.

Mya’s Latest Effort, Sugar & Spice Offers Little Hope for a Comeback

Mya has new album out, but you probably didn't know that; not just because the album is only being released in Japan, but also because you probably just don't care. That's more or less that story of Mya's career. It's not that the would-be R&B star isn't talented; she's just not that interesting. When all is said and done, there isn't really anything that Mya brings to the table that you can't find elsewhere, and with a U.S. release date.

To suggest that Mya hasn't experienced any success during the course of her career wouldn't be fair. In 1998 when she was just 18, the now 29-year-old singer managed to muster up a couple of hit singles from her self-titled debut album, including the R&B hit Movin' On. Back then Mya captured mainstream attention by exploring subject matter that was more sexually suggestive than that of her contemporaries, like Monica or Aaliyah, while still appealing to the same teen fan base. While Monica was avoiding sex on the First Night, Mya was wondering "who's draws are these?," giving adolescent listeners who may not have waited quite as long as Monica a bit of validation. Though her success began to taper off upon the release of her sophomore album Fear of Flying, she still managed to secure another top 10 hit with the album's second single, Case of the Ex. Things began to look a little better for Mya after she teamed with fellow pop stars Pink and Christina Aguilera, along with 'Lil Kim for their Grammy-winning remake of LaBelle's Lady Marmalade, and her two successful 2004 solo singles My Love is Like…Wo and Fallen.

After that, things were pretty much a wrap. After switching records labels, Mya's 4^th album Liberation, was delayed by Motown for more than two years before the label shelved the record permanently and dropped the singer after two failed singles, including the little heard Lock U Down, featuring rapper 'Lil Wayne. After a few months off the radar, earlier this year it was announced that Mya had signed a new recording contract with Japanese label Manhattan Records. That brings us to the limited release of her latest album, Sugar & Spice.

If Mya is looking for any sort of career resurgence, in the U.S. or abroad, Sugar & Spice is not the way to make it happen. Everything about the album is all wrong, from presentation to product, and that's disappointing considering that Mya's limited commercial success has never been reflective of the solid material she consistently delivers. First single Paradise is laughable at best, and the video is even worse. It's clear that Mya's budget for this project was zero to nothing, as the writing and production on most of the album's songs sound like something someone recorded for their YouTube channel.

"Listen to the beat of the Congo, like two animals in the jungle making love."

Huh?

She would have been better off covering that I Gotta Crush on Obama mess; at least it would have been somewhat timely. Seriously, listen to it. It's embarrassingly engaging.

I won't waste my time reviewing the rest of an album that you'll probably never hear, or care to bootleg, but I use Mya's latest effort to illustrate my argument that she'll probably never experience any sort of career relevancy again. A few folks here and there will argue that Mya was never given a fair chance in terms of consistent promotion and commercial exposure, but that's a lame excuse. At the end of the day, Mya is just boring. In 1998, when a majority of her fan base was still in middle school, listening to the singer may have offered a sense of taboo or grown-up sensibility, but 10 years later sex isn't as mysterious, and Mya is hardly a necessity. That's not to say that she's no good, but when Mya's absent from the radio few people really miss her, as she satisfies no real niche on the airwaves.

While, I would love to stand corrected and see Mya develop some sense of self in today's overpopulated American music market, Sugar & Spice doesn't show any indication of that actually happening. Still, I won't belittle her past success, as I've copped and enjoyed every one of Mya's American releases, and I'm still waiting on Sugar and Spice to grow on me.

Below I've posted what I suppose can be referred to as the sequel to her 2004 hit Fallen, creatively titled Fallen 2. It's the only song from Sugar & Spice that's managed to capture any of my attention.

Click Here to Listen to Fallen Part 2

And here's the video for her single Paradise, in all of it's $20 glory.

This Can’t Be Life, There’s Gotta Be More

Keyshia Cole went and fucked up one of my favorite Mary J. Blige songs, and brought Lil' Wayne along to add insult to injury.

I won't comment on the situation too much, as I'm actually a fan of Cole; but this cover is not a good look. The charm of Blige's I Love You lies in its ability to remain mournfully reminiscent while still managing to radiate with a sense of optimism not present throughout most of the other tracks on My Life. Cole's version is vacant and shallow, and inevitably vulgar thanks to Wayne's unnecessary contribution. She lacks the vulnerability of Blige's original vocals, and the track ultimately feels inauthentic and disappointing.

Besides, isn't Keyshia still too eclipsed by Mary's shadow to be trying to revel in it?

"How I used to fuck you, and how you fought back"

For real? I'm so sick of this dude.

Click here to listen to Mary's I Love You

Click here to listen to Keyshia's fuckery

Columbus Short Standout Amongst Cast of Cadillac Records

I saw Cadillac Records this weekend, and while I won't take the time to review the film, I do want to comment on how outstanding Columbus Short was in his portrayal of harmonica legend Little Walter. Though I've seen Short onscreen twice before, in Stomp the Yard and last year's This Christmas, I hadn't really taken notice of his talent. So, imagine my surprise when the former choreographer and back-up dancer managed to parlay his supporting role into what should surely be a star-making performance for the up-and-coming actor.

Most audiences won't go to see Cadillac Records with Columbus Short in mind, as his previous films have done little to showcase his actual talent. However, Short refuses to take a backseat in Cadilliac Records, as he carries his supporting role right to the front of the generally well-cast vehicle. Even younger audiences who probably won't be very familiar with Little Walter's legacy will find Short's portrayal of the alcoholic and often volatile bluesman impressive. Short's performance is dark and incendiary in all of the right places, and just as funny and light-hearted when it needs to be. As Little Walter transitions from a street-smart teen suffering from the lack of a stable family, to a substance abusing star desperate to hold on to his waning fame, Short handles the material with the character-acting instinct and intuition of a veteran, easily stealing nearly every scene in which he's featured. And while many are anticipating Oscar buzz to surround one of Cadillac Records' bigger stars; I wouldn't be surprised if Short delivers another Dreamgirls upset.

Elsewhere in the film, Gabrielle Union delivers a wonderfully demure portrayal of a truly desperate housewife, while Beyonce turns in a better than expected performance as haunted living-legend Etta James. Though Knowles is still stiff and unconvincing in her approach toward everyday material, she was surprisingly impressive in scenes that called for her to exercise a little more dramatic skill.

I'll give credit where it's due.

Oh, and Mos Def as Chuck Berry was golden!

Usher As Bad As Britney?

So I was on my usual blog stroll today, and came across this column comparing Usher's performance at this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show to Britney Spears' infamous 2007 VMA fiasco. Come again?

Now, Usher's biggest fan I am not, infact I think his ego could use a couple of knocks, but he killed this performance. Yes, he was a little pitchy in some spots, but for the most part Usher's performance of This Ain't Sex was as charming and showy as it should have been, without going at all over the top. I'm gonna give Usher even more credit for being able to own a stage without the presence of a single backup dancer, which is an accomplishment for an entertainer as celebrated for his choreography and elaborate stage shows as Usher is. I'm not really sure how anyone could see any trace of Britney's darkest moment in the performance posted above, but I think it might have something to do with the continued backlash following Here I Stand.

I am so clearly in the very small minority of people who actually enjoyed Here I Stand. I"ll even admit that I liked the album even more than Confessions, and that's something no one wants to hear. But, where Confessions was arrogant and juvenile, Here I Stand is the work of a man realizing his maturity. It may not have been as fun as Usher's 2004 effort, but it was honest and self-realizing, and showcased some much-needed evolution from the otherwise predictable Mr. Raymond, which makes the project infinitely more satisfying in my opinion. And if nothing else, Here I Stand had some really good songs. Trading Places, Moving Mountains, His Mistakes, What's a Man to Do, What's Ur Name, and my personal favorite Lifetime...good shit! There wasn't a bad song on the album, save the title track, and it would have been nice if more people gave it a chance.

Still, considering Usher chose Love in This Club as his first single, I would argue that he set himself up for failure. Love in This Club and its subsequent remix were the least reflective of the rest of the material on Here I Stand, and were obvious attempts to capitalize on the success of Yeah! and later 'Lil Wayne. In that regard Usher's introduction of Here I Stand was misleading, and ultimatly disappointing for fans expecting the album to take more of a Hip-Hip influenced R&B direction.

But I encourage you all to get over it, and give Here I Stand another chance. Let go of Confessions, and take the record for what it is, and I'm sure you'll find some satisfaction.

(Oh, and I apologize for the widescreen YouTube vid. It had the best quality, but clearly it doesn't agree with my blog template.)