Black people live by the curriculum of Lauryn Hill’s Miseducation, and pursue love as it relates to a Maxwell record. They tolerate Tyler Perry, but know that they can do better. They do not watch BET, and are sure to complain about VH-1’s Hip-Hop Honors. Aaron McGruder is their scholar of satire, and The Boondocks is a black pop-culture prerequisite.
If you’re black, educated and worthy of a platform these are the rules that you follow. Otherwise, join the rest of the coons at KFC –and don’t forget to leave your copy of The Coldest Winter Ever as you exit the elite.
Remember when it was 2008 and Lady Gaga was bisexual?
If you don’t, it’s okay because it hasn’t been particularly important to the trajectory of her career. Save a few same-sex references in songs like “Alejandro” and “Poker Face,” the fluidity of Gaga’s sexuality has hardly influenced the charm of her material. But would she be as commercially notable today if she hadn’t used her sexuality to spark interest back then?
I love this video for no reason at all. It's repetitive and boring, and Brit's hardly moving at all, much less dancing. In fact, the clip is basically a collection of glamor shots in motion, which continues Britney's Circus-era trend of looking fabulous, but functioning minimally. Trust me, I made it to one of the shows on her hugely successful Circus tour, and she's just as disengaged in person as she is on film. There's no spark left in Britney, but she's a business MAN, thus the train must keep moving.
All that being said, she's looking amazing in this clip. I bet if they would've slipped her a couple shots of tequila beforehand she would've worked that pole like she had kids to feed (wait...). Remember the Gimmie More video?
It's not that I don't like to hear Mary J. Blige do uptempos, because I do. "Just Fine" still makes my treadmill mix, and "Enough Cryin'" was my favorite Breakthrough track for a bit. But this "Nothin on Me (The One)" is trying way too hard.
Mary has managed to transition from 20-something to near 40 in the music industry with ease. In fact, her fanbase has argubably grown over the past decade, as her last two albums have been among the most successful in her career. That's not easy, ask Janet and Mariah. So why is she backtracking with "The One?"
The Breakthrough and Growing Pains have been Mary's most realized records to date. While 411 and My Life were instant classics, Mary's never sounded as confident or capable as she has since 2006's Breakthrough. But "The One" wreaks of desperation. It has Love & Life written all over it, and y'all should remember how well that went.
"Them other girls you done been with, they ain't got nothing on me....Way I walk, way I talk. My swagger."
No, you're 36. Your "swagger" should speak for itself. And it does. Mary's easily one of the classiest chicks in the game. Save these lyrics for Keri Hilson.
And the Drake feature. I just don't get it. There's no reason for him to be on this track, other than his current commercial appeal. See: wreaks of desperation.
But everyone else seems to love it, so check it out for yourself. Leave a comment, let me know if I'm just misguided on this one.
Oh, but when Mary is still a movement by herself...it's fine.
"My father had to fight those battles {for me}. I didn’t. And now I’m large enough—I’m universal—that no one’s paying attention to what race I am. I’ve kind of proven myself. I’m past that."
Something about, "I'm large enough...I'm past that" isn't sitting right with me...but ya'll know I don't like her ass, so maybe I'm just reaching too far. What do you think?
It really annoys me when people aren't prepared for work. It becomes so clear during the course of this interview that Barbara Walters and Joy Behar have no real idea who Keyshia Cole is. They could have at least taken the time to borrow Sherri Shepherd's first season dvds of The Way it Is, and play catch-up. Babs was so clueless that it's almost insulting.
And Keyshia needs more media training. "He told me I was beautiful," is not an appropriate response to "What kind of advice did Tupac give you?". You're on tv, sit up straight and act like you got some sense!
In other news, Whoopi Goldberg always looks like she's on her way to the church picnic, Elizabeth Hasselback continues to birth babies and make me wanna vomit, while Sherri Shepherd stays dipping into Star Jones' old wigs and weave bin.
The View Producers to Sherri Shepherd: "SHE had a law degree, YOU have one line in an episode of Friends, and a membership to Costco. Take this ponytail, and be out."
Here's the preview video for Ciara's latest single, "Love, Sex & Magic," which features Justin Timberlake. This would be the third fourth 1st single from Ciara's Fantasy Ride, but it's also my favorite, so I won't talk too much shit.
It's not that Ciara doesn't look FLY in this clip, cause damn, she does. It just that, something about it is just a little too much. She's working that psuedo-cage like rent is a month behind, and the check she wrote for March is about to bounce too. Some of those positions just look awkward. There's nothing sexy about a "I hope I don't fall" face.
That being said, I really hope Ciara's 3rd album does well. She's one artist that has shown actual growth since her debut; both vocally, and performance-wise. In that respect, I'm mad that she's opening for Britney Spears this summer instead of touring on her own. But it's a recession, and I don't think Ciara tickets are worth downgrading from Ciroc to Absolute for the next 3 months.
Anway, I could be off the mark...what do you guys think?
Dora will be getting a To Catch a Predator sponsored makeover this fall, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. But on the plus side, looks like Nick Jr. finally realized that the bowl-cut bob is so 2007; and trading in strappy shoes for ballet flats....always a plus (or at least a lateral movement toward maturity?).
But I'm wondering how Dora's gonna go exploring w/o her over sized backpack? I smell an Hermes Birkin upgrade! (Swiper, no bootlegging)
Shit like this is why my people can't get approved for mortgage loans. It makes no sense at all that this jacket would EVER cost anything close to $1000.00. And on sale for $539? No sir.
I could buy this same jacket...minus the actual leather...for $20 at Forever 21 (and don't act like you haven't tipped through their men's section looking for something similar to something else you couldn't afford at Express).
Oh, and be reminded that you're paying for Sean John tags, not Purple Labels. That's like taking the money that your mommy gave you for a Benz and buying a Pinto...cause the price was high, and you thought you were really doing something.
If you buy this jacket, you don't love yourself, and you don't love your country. Recession people!
So, I tend to be of the minority when it comes to post-Emancipation Mariah. While I'll acknowledge that her voice seems to be failing her a bit of late, I'd still argue that Mariah can easily sing circles around any other artist in her lane. The rasp of her speaking voice may become more apparent in her singing with each successive album, but even the huskier tones work for her, so I'm not complaining. For Mariah, it's the material that sucks..not the voice.
That being said, she sounds terrible on The-Dream's "My Love." She manages to compliment the backgrounds fairly well, but her own verse is flat as hell...and that hook? It sounds like she's battling strep. I would say that the vocals aren't a good look, but it's more than that. This isn't a bad live performance; it's studio quality (read: magic) Mariah, and she's struggling. Given the raspiness of the chorus, it's hard to imagine that she's actually hitting the final notes of the song. I'd be willing to bet those were super-imposed like a mug.
Here's the song.
And who told The-Dream to release this shit anyway? Where's the video for the clearly superior "Rockin That Shit!"?
I said this on Twitter as soon as I saw this hat on Ms. Franklin at the Inauguration, and I'll say it again today: I know one of ya'll got an aunt w/ this same damn hat.
Back in my church going days, hats like this one were common place among the congregation..and don't let it be a deacon's wife on Easter Sunday...that bow would be demure in comparison to the bright, feathered, and glittered possibilities. Once you've seen Sister Jenkins rockin an entire nativity scene on top of her head (with matching gloves no less), Franklin's hat is as surprising as a new era fitted.
So how has this thing managed to take on a life of its own?
I really tried to avoid this post for several reasons: It's lack of timeliness, lack of originality, and my obvious bias (see archives)...But given Jermaine Dupri'srecent dismissal from Def Jam and the Essence interview that has surfaced since, I feel inclined to throw caution to the wind and publicly question Janet's sustainability in the wake of the worst decade of her career.
Since Discipline's failure, both Janet and Jermaine have been quick to point fingers at Def Jam for lack of sufficient material, promotion and communication. If that sounds familiar, it's because they did the same thing when Janet's 2006 effort 20 Y.O failed to take flight when she was signed to longtime label Virgin. Janet has even been quoted as saying "the material just wasn't that good," in reference to the latter, while later claiming that the former suffered from poor single choices. Huh?
If nothing else, more than 20 years as one of the top selling artists in the music industry, across any genre, should give Janet enough sense and agency to recognize bad material and pass on it before it even reaches our ears. While I'd venture to say that 2004's Damita Jo was far better than '01's All For You, despite it's sub par sells, I'll agree that 20 Y.O was misguided and disappointing. Still, the album was better than the attention it garnered, and Discipline was an honest return to form for the singer. That is to say, I don't agree that "the material just wasn't that good," and poor single choices are acceptable excuses for Janet's commercial shortcomings. But, if that's the road she wants to take, I'll go there with her.
Of the six singles that Janet has released in the past four years, I would only concede that "Call On Me" was a poor choice. Ironically, it was the most successful. 2004's "I Want You" and "All Nite (Don't Stop)" should've been hits, likewise 2006's "So Excited" was the best R&B dance song Janet had released in years. Finally, last year's "Feedback" should've been the song to bring Janet back to the front of the pack, while "Rock With U," though not as enaging as "All Nite," was the house song her fans had been craving for years. The fact that none of these singles managed to garner attention in either radio or video form comments more toward Janet herself, and audience attitude toward her than it does actual quality of material.
While Janet will cite lack of label commitment to her projects as another reason for their lack of success, I'd say she's half-assing it too. That fact that she consistently refuses to properly promote new material until just a few days preceding its release is questionable at best. A few official website updates and an occasional label-induced track leak does not a platinum plaque encourage. With Discipline, Def Jam tried more in terms of promotion than I think Janet gives them credit for; holding several listening events for the writers of major blogs and inciting a heavy internet buzz for the album months before its actual release. Still, Janet didn't do a single live performance until the day of the album's release, and at that point it had already become clear that "Feedback" was fading. Hell, the video for the single didn't even surface until 3 months after the song, and that's just poor timing. To add insult to injury, Janet's publicity tour more or less ended just a week into the album's release, with her cancelled SNL performance due to sickness, which resulted in her being replaced by labelmate Mariah. Seriously Janet?
Actually, that Mariah incident was just as tacky on Def Jam's part...but Janet knows damn well her ass should have popped a Dayquil and used a backing track to get through that SNL apperance once she got that MiMi memo.
Add to that a world tour with only 12 dates (give or take) satisfied, and it's clear Janet is just going through the motions.
Realistically, Janet is 42, and at this point new fans are going to be hard to muster. The most that she can hope to do is win back her waining fanbase, and half-hearted attempts at a comeback just aren't the way to do it. She'll walk away from a project (and a label) after just two underperforming singles, and that's disappointing. B'Day was far from a runaway success, but Beyonce rode that shit like walking away would've meant splitting another paycheck with Kelly and Michelle, and it paid off. Janet needs to rediscover that sort of drive, as she's clearly been lacking it of late. I'd love to see her stay committed through a third video; something she hasn't done since 1997's Velvet Rope.
Outside of that, people want to see Janet fail, and that's not something she can help. I suppose that given her legendary history paired with the increasing level of professional embarrassment she's experienced in the past few years, her downfall has become fun to watch for the same people that supported her while she was on top. In that respect she's like any other celebrity who happens to fall from grace, and I suppose it was inevitable. Still if Britney can go backwoods crazy and spend a year looking like a pre-op circus Tranny, and still manage to move more than 500k in her first week, then I honestly believe anything is possible.
Still, for that to happen she has to stop looking for places to lay blame and handle her business as best she can. The rest should come; and if not, she's a legend. Weak chart performances or not, that won't change.
And because I look for any reason to post a Janet clip, here's one of my favorite live performances.
Ms. Jackson gets SO much better with age...and she knows it.
But this chick is pretty entertaining. She's riding the borderline between interesting and insane, and I love it. She's pretty self-aware of the fact that she's impersonating Beyonce, and not actually becoming Beyonce...unlike those Single Ladies (and gentlemen..) that recreated her last video, and I like that.
Whatever..the shit's funny...watch it.
LOL...I LOVE that she went on location. Is there a wind machine in that elevator?...and that scramble effect @ 1:38, priceless.
I guess it's becoming common practice in 2009 for male celebrities to expose all for popular magazines. First Brad Pitt hops on the cover of W looking like Benjamin Button at birth, and next month Kanye will forgo airbrushing (and blistex?) for Vibe.
Brad has managed to do a decade's worth of aging in just a year. I realize the man is 45, but damn...clearly Jennifer Aniston got his youth in the divorce settlement.
I'm also having trouble with Kanye looking nearly as aged as Pitt, despite the decade and some odd years separating them.
In other news, Kanye's kicking around the idea of releasing "RoboCop" as his next single, with "Bad News" also falling under consideration.
You know I'm team "spoiled little LA girl" all day!
But, this is the cover to Britney's 1999 single, "Baby One More Time." It's a little weird, right?
I've always wondered what Britney's camp sought to accomplish with this picture, especially considering that by the time the single was released commercially it had already been a huge radio hit. That is to say, Britney was already well on her way toward becoming a household name, which to me makes this photo sort of an odd choice as her very first single cover. I'm all for the face shot (wait...), but there had to be some other motivation behind choosing this photo..because clearly it's not the best of Britney.
The messy bed-head and vulnerable look in Brit's eyes, paired with the suggestive tone of the title make me think that they were aiming to establish her jailbait potential from the start; Brit looks like a little girl in her momma's wig (assuming your mom is Courtney Love)..and maybe it's just the English major in me, but that has to symbolize something...vapid or insightful, but definitely profitable.
Or maybe this photo is just an eerie foreshadowing of Brit's darker days ahead...poorly kept weave and all. I mean, she definitely looks a little crazy right? Less future superstar, and more "I'll never tell..."
Can you tell I don't have SHIT to blog about? Still, I probably would've slid this in eventually.
